19 November 2009

A Father's Lament

Rouse yourself! Why do you sleep, O Lord?
Awake! Do not cast us off forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For we sink down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up, come to our help.
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love.
Psalm 44:23-26

Do you not see, O God, the sufferings our son endures? Do you not know that he thrashes in pain night and day? Do you not care that he is slowly spiraling down into the Abyss?

My family is broken and scattered, living in two cities with no sense of itself. My wife sits alone in her concrete cubicle, enduring the screams of pain that accompany her every day. My oldest son goes to sleep every night not knowing if his parents will be there when he awakens the next day. And I, I attempt to engage in 'normal' life to no avail as the news pours in from afar. We cannot long endure these things, O Lord.

Are the skies made of bronze? Do you not hear our cries? How many tears must be shed for you to take action? How many prayers must be uttered for you to take heed? Do not keep us in this state; do not prolong our misery. If you would take our son from us do not delay; if you would heal him why do you linger?

How many times must we utter the same supplication: "Heal our son"?

And yet we know that you, God, do not delight in suffering nor do you behave capriciously. For you love our son more than we - he is your artwork, the finely sculptured work of your hands. And so, trusting that you are good, we wait for you.

We wait for you.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not grow faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless.
Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted;
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31


  1. Brian, your post this morning touched me deeply. Your verses from Isaiah are among my favorite - and I have clung to those Promises many, many times. And your verses from the Psalms speak perfectly - as if they were written from your own heart.

    How blessed Bennett and Oliver are to have a Daddy who loves the Lord with all of his heart. How blessed Breck is to have you as her husband, her helpmate, her partner in life.

    I hear the agony in your heart and my heart weeps. I am lifting you and your family in my prayers. I love being able to go to God with my heartaches and frustrations - and even my anger - knowing that He will understand and love me still. He understands how your heart is breaking because of all that you and your family are going through. And He will supply all that you need for each step of the way.

    The old hymn "Rock of Ages" is what I hear in my heart for you today. "Nothing in my hands I bring; simply to the Cross I cling." Take comfort in knowing that you don't have to be the strong one with all the answers. Keep clinging. <>< Mrs. Marsha

  2. This is a beautiful, profound post Brian. Thanks for sharing your heart through the beautiful text from the Bible. Praying for you guys.

  3. What beautiful thoughts, Brian. You and Breck are so articulate about your pain, your raw emotion and your faith. I pray that God helps you both through this. I'm sure it's hard to believe at this point, but God does have a plan and it's better than anything we can imagine. Hang in there!


We love to hear from you! Please leave your comment below!

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.