07 October 2009

Breck's Thoughts: God chose me.

Brian and I have had similar thoughts as we have begun to deal with our son's diagnosis.  We have decided to write about it separately.  This is Breck's post:

 We have had so many sweet messages sent our way over the last week.  While unable to respond to them all, we have read each of them many times more than once.  We are touched by the very sweet things that have been said to us and have begun putting them in a book.  We hope this book will be a place we can go to when we are needing encouragement and a place that Bennett can go to when we tell him his story.

One of the phrases that recently struck me, Breck, recently was from a family friend who said the following:

"God chose you to be Bennett's mother because He knew that you would be perfect for the job."

In tragedy, it's easy to feel pity for yourself.  And, believe me, I have had many moments of deep sadness over expectations that were not met.

However, we love this idea because instead of spending my time wondering why my child had to be the one who got Cystic Fibrosis, I can mediate on the fact that Bennett is a blessing...given to me because I was, in fact, chosen for this job.

How difficult it is to feel like God may have chosen me to have a sick child or to have to watch my child suffer...

But when I own this affliction as a gift in which God has prepared me, I can be thankful.

:::gulp::: thankful?

Yes.  Thankful.  I am thankful to be Bennett's mother.  I was chosen.  How lucky I am.


  1. What strength you have! I'm so proud of you and Brian. As I got into my car this morning, I was contemplating the "why" as well and was wondering how the both of you were coping with that difficult question. It is very clear by your post that you're right - God has chosen the best people for the job.

    You and Brian are some of the most amazing people I know. Your faith is so strong and you've set a wonderful example for many. This challenge gives you yet another opportunity to share your faith with people who know you, any many more who don't.

    I've already had several people tell me of friends or family members they know with CF. In every instance, the person tells me what FULL LIVES these people have. Just because a person's life may be shorter than others or plagued with difficulties, does not mean that the person's life is any less meaningful or important. In fact, it is often the people who have faced such hardship who can make the biggest impact on other's lives.

    Bennett is a blessing. I'm confident that he will not only bless you, but the lives of many, many others. God has a wonderful plan for you and for Bennett. You might not know what the plan is right now, but I'm confident that God's plan is way better than anything we could ever imagine.

    Know that we love you very much!

  2. breck--you are so awesome. thank you for sharing your experience with us like this. as i read your words here (and your husband's in the post above), I am just in awe of our God and what he is doing in your lives. His love for your family is so powerful, and I cannot help but think of how much GOOD will come from your lives. He is working something huge, and your willingness to follow where He leads with a thankful heart leaves me so encouraged. Praying for you, sweet mama!

  3. What a testimony - Bennett's life is ALREADY being used to glorify God - through your words my sweet friend.

  4. I feel so inspired by your post. So inspired, in fact, I shared about it on my blog today. I think what strikes me most about is that you said "it is a gift that God has prepared me for this affliction". I have never thought of difficult times in that perspective. It helps me to see new light on the loss of pregnancies we've faced and also with the birth of our healthy newborn. God prepared my heart for him after loss and grief.

    Bennett is drawing me closer to God, even though I've never met him and I am in Columbia, MO, so far away.

    Thank you for writing so articulately and in a way that speaks to my heart.

  5. Brack- Bennett is a blessing in deed. And you and Brian will give him an excellent life. I do not doubt that for a minute. I know he has a tough road ahead of him, but you two will be there to help him through it and lead the way. You will be his support and comfort. And he is also so lucky to have a wonderful "big" brother like Oliver in his life. I am sure he will be his backbone and his support as well.

    Liz Sherman

  6. I understand. Being the parent of a child born with a difference is... an honor. We're members of a "club" that we didn't ask to be a part of, but we have the strength and support of God, our family and friends. There's something inside us as parents that leads us. Do we need to mourn? Yes. Can we do this? Of course we can.


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