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Surgery Date Confirmed

Friday, January 27, 2017

A few days after Bennett's barium enema earlier this month, I called the surgeon's office to find out the date of Bennett's surgery.

When I called, I was shocked to learn the doctor apparently "just left on vacation" and wouldn't be back for several weeks.  Surgery would not be scheduled until he came back.  Ugh.

So, for the last few weeks I've been both grateful that we couldn't schedule Bennett's surgery (out of sight, out of mind) and also full of anxiety knowing it's coming.

Planning surgeries like this is like what I imagine preparing for a hurricane might be like - you think you know what it's going to be like, you think you're prepared...but you know deep inside you have no idea and won't know until it's come and gone.

Thankfully, the surgeon returned this week and we now have an official surgery date.

Bennett will be admitted at to Children's Medical Center in Dallas on February 8 for a colon clean out and prep for surgery.

Surgery will be on Thursday, February 9.

Bennett is expected to be in the hospital for 4-5 days.

When it's all said and done, Bennett's last surgery went really poorly.  Based on the information we have, we believe this past year's issues seem to have all stemmed from complications from Bennett's surgery last January.  So, it's no wonder that I have a tremendous amount of anxiety going in to a similar surgery as last year's.

I have spent the last few weeks in therapy processing my feelings about what happened last year and working to prepare myself for these next few weeks.  Through this work, I have come to better appreciate the trauma our family has gone through with Bennett's CF.  Acknowledging the weight of years of issues, surgeries and complications has given me a greater respect for what we are having to face and for what others who experience similar situations also face.  Many times, including last year's surgery, I downplayed our experience.  "It's our normal, so it's normal, right?" I thought.  I didn't ask my family to come help us.  I didn't reach out to friends to support us as much as I could have.  I tried to minimize our needs, my needs, because I thought it's just our normal. But just because something is normal doesn't mean no-big-deal.

This time, I've asked family to step in to help.  I'm leaning on my husband for more support.  Rather than trying to distract them during this time, I've asked to have more access to the kids. I want them to be near.  I need them to be near.  I hope to be more honest with friends about ways they can help.

I guess what I really am learning to say is:  This is awful.  I don't want to go through it.  I wish God didn't call me to this moment.  But I know he will give me the strength to do this once again.  I need others.  I have the greatest admiration of my son who, more than anyone, feels similarly.

2 Responses to “Surgery Date Confirmed”

  1. The date is on my calendar friend - so that I will remember to pray and to let you know that I am here and would love nothing more than to bless you and love on you in ANY way that is helpful. No pressure - but if you need a meal, place to shower/crash, visitor/adult conversation....just let me know. Love you.

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  2. I'm so sorry your family has to go through all of this!

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