29 July 2015

Bennett is in surgery.

Bennett's day started out well.  Although, in the van on the way to the hospital, he became very irritated.  Frustrated he wasn't able to reach something from his carseat in the car and angry that I wouldn't pull over immediately to help him, he belted out cries of anger and disappointment.

In general, Bennett has struggled the last week with more outbursts and crying fits than usual.  It is likely that he is right in that emotional place between baby and child when responding to strong feelings.  But I also think his headaches and consistently being in pain may be playing in to his more recent behavior.

This morning, when Bennett was so upset in the van, I tried to stay very calm and connected to him.  It's easy to get caught up in the chaos of packing for the hospital, taking care of the children, making sure we don't eat past the time the nurse told us, etc, that how Bennett is doing can get missed.

Recognizing he might just be out of sorts because of today's surgery, I just started calming saying to him through his cries, "Bennett, you are ok.  You are alright.  You are going to be ok."  He continued to throw his head back and cry out.

When he finally calmed down enough to hear what I was saying to him, I ask, "Bennett, are you scared about your surgery?"

He nodded and said, "yes."  A minute later, he calmly asked almost with surprise, "why did you just ask me that?"

I explained, "well, I just wondered how you might be feeling today since you know you are going in to surgery.  You told me this morning that you had had a dream last night that had made you scared and sad.  I just wonder if you are feeling that way about your surgery today?"

He looked out the window quietly.  Then his lips began to quiver as he teared up and said, "I'm just having a rough day today."

I empathized and was eventually able to pull over to help him get the items in the car he was wanting.  He calmed down and became distracted in play as we drove the 30 minutes drive to the hospital.  But I was glad we were able to connect on his feelings about surgery.  He might act disconnected at times.  But I know he's like all of us, scared and sad inside.

I never saw another sign of anxiety, even as they were wheeling him in to the OR.  I hope my acknowledging his fears helped him feel cared for.

Bennett went to the operating room at 12:45pm.  He was given Versed to make him loopy and help him feel calm.

We just received a call from the OR nurse stating they just got started on the surgery. We hope to hear something in the next hour or hour and a half.

Getting to choose the scent of his laughing gas.

Playing with Daddy while he waits.

Feeling loopy on the way to the OR.
One other tidbit that I want to share is that when we began the admitting process for surgery, we were introduced to our nurse, Lacie.  Upon further conversation, the nurse and I realized that we had a mutual friend.  Our friend Kayla, who I hope to blog about in the coming days, has done a tremendous job of sharing Bennett's story with others and communicating our need for a cure.

A picture with Bennett's nurse after he went back.
It turns out that our sweet nurse today is one of the people who learned from Kayla of Bennett's story and who, having not yet known us, donated to the CF Foundation on our behalf earlier this summer.

This morning, this nurse said in surprise and joy, "When I saw his name, I thought this might just be the infamous Bennett Gamel."

What a gift that was for me - to meet our nurse who, without realizing it, already knew of Bennett, his story and our need for a cure - who, without knowing us, had already given financially to help Bennett get his cure - and who already had compassion for her patient before he ever walked in.

When Brian and I learned about our nurse's kindness, we were able to thank her in person for what she had done for us, even before she knew us.

Big boy all ready for his surgery!
How thankful I am to have experienced God's providence today.  He is near and I can feel it today especially.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

1 comment :

  1. I was praying for God to go before you last night! So glad things are going well!


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