26 November 2012

This Week

Like most Americans this Sunday evening, this evening feels transitional to our family.  We are slowly awaking from our turkey-comas and into some vague awareness that, beginning bright and early tomorrow morning, real life begins again.

We had a particularly wonderful Thanksgiving this year as my family came for a visit.  My mom and dad particularly enjoyed getting to attend Grandparents' Day at the boys' school.  This little turkey performed in the Grandparents' Day Pre-K/Kindergarten program:

Bennett wasn't able to attend Grandparents' Day because he and I were at his dentist appointment to discuss surgery.  But I am glad to know Oliver got his Mumsy and Pops all to himself for a few hours.

As Sunday evening turns into Monday morning, I am beginning to get ready for what this week entails.    We have a Pre-Op appointment with the Scott and White CF team on Tuesday, a barium enema under anesthesia on Wednesday, surgery on Thursday and an admission until Friday.  I am just thankful for one full day tomorrow with no doctors appointments to prepare!

I am beginning to gather things for our night in the hospital.  I am so thankful I keep this packing list handy so I don't have to recreate it each time we have an admission.  (I actually found this handy brochure for first time Cystic Fibrosis families being admitted to the hospital. It was written by the CF Family Advisory Counsil for Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.)

Packing shouldn't be too hard.  I actually keep a pile of hospitalization supplies in a plastic bin in the corner of my closet for moments like these.  I have tried to purchase as many items as I can that I can store away should we ever have to leave immediately to go to the ER or hospital.  I have an extra hairdryer and extra toiletries on hand, as well as slippers, an extra phone charger and bath rugs I've used during other hospitalizations.

I would be lying if I said I'm prepared for this week or that this will be easy.  It's never easy and I won't ever be prepared.  But, there is a part of me that has to focus on the bigger picture so I don't get overcome by fear or sadness.  I have to try to keep our family on schedule and distracted by other things, especially so that the boys don't get concerned something bad is happening.

One of the nice things I have going on this week is an opportunity to touch base with my counselor.  It's nice to have a space where I can cry, vent and express the fears and feelings that I very often try to hide from others, even myself.  I will take that special hour of the week to try to experience what is happening with Bennett right now, so that I can present during the rest of the week.

If there is anything I've learned through this journey with Cystic Fibrosis, it is that feelings never go away.  They stay in the body until they are processed some how.  So, the healthiest thing is for me to take time to address them head on, in a healthy way, so they can pass through...for there are always more feelings to come!  I am glad I will have space this week to do so.  Mommas need to make sure they are cared for, even as they care for the rest of their family.

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