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...if just for Bennett

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

{EDIT: Laura and Carrie, thanks for your sweet comments!  Per your suggestion, I added a link to donate to this year's Great Strides on the right side of the blog.  Thank you for caring for Bennett!!}

Since we're about a six weeks or so away from being admitted to the Feeding Clinic, I've turned my attention to working on this year's Great Strides event in Waco.  I hope to do whatever I can before we get admitted.  At that point, I'll be solely focused on Bennett's eating issues.

Our Waco CF Walk is pretty small.  Fortunately, there are very few kiddos with CF in Waco.  Bennett is the youngest of them all.

It has been nerve-wracking to ask companies for sponsorships and friends to come out to support Bennett.  There is always a vulnerability that comes with doing so.  

Each time that I ask, I risk being rejected.  Each time I ask, I feel myself on the verge of tears.  How do I explain to another person the heartache that I feel?  How do I ask for something that seems so small but has the potential to mean so much?

As soon as I found out about the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's new "Blow Away Cystic Fibrosis" theme (which includes pinwheels), I knew who I ought to inquire about first.  I knew Rachel, owner of Pinwheel Kids, might be receptive to helping us.  She's a fabulous person, a caring mother and an owner of a store for children.  I thought it'd be a perfect match for the CF Walk.

When Rachel responded to my request without hesitation, and then began to roll off ideas of her own, I began to tear up.  I remember thinking, "she's on our team...she gets it...she's gonna help me fight."  It felt so good.

Having one "yes" gave me the confidence to ask another company and then another.  Each time, I call with confidence but have plenty of hidden anxiety inside.  Thankfully, every time I have asked, I have received affirmation of sponsorship with enthusiasm and support.  I have truly felt like God's presence has been with me.

I don't think God cares a ton about CF Walks or sponsorships (although, I do think he cares about what we care about).  But I think what God cares about most, in a situation like this, is my trust in Him. 

I am trusting that if I make efforts to fight for a cure for my child, I will find God at work doing good things.  And I have seen just that.

I have doubted my efforts towards Great Strides.  Thoughts like,"What does this matter?  What if nobody comes?  What if this is a total flop?" have seeped into my head.

Since we are such a small group in Waco (there are about a dozen kids with CF here), trying to put on a CF Walk can be a bit daunting.  Many families have been doing this for years.  This is year #2 for me.  I'm fresh with enthusiasm and ideas.  Other families find themselves preoccupied with their lives and some have long sense lost some of that enthusiasm.

"Why work for something that nobody probably cares about?" I found myself wondering yesterday. 

And then, I heard my heart reply without missing a beat, "Because if I don't do it for Bennett, who will?....If all of this is just for Bennett, it's worth it."

My perspective is him.  My son.  If for no one else.  Even if it's just me, Oliver, Bennett and a few extended family at that little CF Walk.  It's worth it.

It's worth it because it's a day to celebrate the courage Bennett has to fight for his life daily.
It's worth it because it's a day to be with those who support us during this CF journey.

It's worth it because it's a day to recognize that one day CF will be overcome.

The reason I work so hard for the Great Strides Walk is for Bennett.
...So that one day he when he looks at us and says, "Can't you make this all stop?,"  I can look him in the eye and say, "Mom and Dad have done and will continue to do everything we can to save you."  

And believe it or not, I have found something sort of funny happening in this process.  Each time a company volunteers to sponsor the CF Walk...or each time I hear someone watched his video... or each time someone gives to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in honor of Bennett...I feel so much less alone.  I truly feel like we are on a team and people are gathering around us.  It's as though little things like sponsorships and money given on behalf of Bennett really does give me hope.

Do I think a sponsorship of a plate of chicken is really going to cure Bennett?  No, but it's an act of someone offering what they have to help my son.

And that is powerful.

God is good and one to be trusted.  And I have seen it repeated in people's care for my son to be healed.
  

4 Responses to “...if just for Bennett”

  1. That's awesome, Breck! Way to go out there and get sponsorships!!! I know it's hard (I've done it myself), but if anyone can do it, you can! You are so darn passionate and persuasive, I can't imagine anyone saying no to you!

    Two things...

    When is the walk?

    And, where is the donation button? You should add one to your site. PayPal makes it easy. Let me know if you need help with that. ChipIn is another tool you could use to raise funds through your site.

    You can do it! I'm so proud of you!

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  2. You inspire me girl! I too think you should add a donation button to your site. Prayers continue! Love, Carrie Miers

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  3. First off, you're never alone. Secondly, I'm proud of you Breck, you have a lot on your plate and you take on more for sweet Bennett. He will never doubt how much he's loved and cared for. xo

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  4. I work for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in Indianapolis and your blog posting was passed to me from my Executive Director, who by-the-way, said she read it through tear-filled eyes. What an amazing post! I've been with the Foundation for more than 10-years now and in spite of hearing from many, many first time parents with CF children, it's impossible to not be moved with each heartfelt plea for support. My heart is with you and all the other cf families that stuggle each day with "normal cf life." Every effort you make is worth it as we're one step closer daily. Keep up the brave work!

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